Healing Wounds
by ooncer
Summary: Emma needs some time alone after the Echo Cave but Mary Margaret finds her and wants to explain. Set after 3x06 (Ariel.) My first fanfic after months of appreciating everyone else's! One shot. I don't own Once or any characters, sadly.


'Ouch,' she hissed under her breath as yet another spiny branch snapped back to whip her forearm. One thing Emma certainly wouldn't miss about Neverland was the constant trekking through identical jungle. She wanted to run, to sprint away from them all but deep down she knew this was what Pan wanted. Why else would he have had them confess their most private secrets? Her brain was not sure to which revelation it should apply itself which led to confusion and anger. Hook or Neal? How dare he? Will we be separated again? Why didn't he tell her? Why does she want to replace me? What does Pan want with Henry? So many questions were speeding through her head that she felt it may explode. She just wanted to be alone, to have some time to process this new information.

She suddenly stopped, pulling the canteen from her shoulder and ushering the others on.  
'You go ahead. I just need a break, I'll catch you up in a minute.'  
'It's ok, we'll wait. We can all have a quick rest,' David suggested. _Why does he always have to be so sickeningly kind?_ she wondered.  
'No, really. I need a minute on my own. Please.' She emphasised that last word, emploring them to give her some space.  
'Ok,' he finally agreed, 'but we'll walk slowly. Come find us when you're ready.'  
The others traipsed off noisily in the direction of Tinkerbell's home, leaving Emma sitting alone on a piece of log with the canteen and her swirling thoughts. No sooner had the last person left her sight, than the tears began to stream silently down her cheeks. She was crying for Hook, for Neal, for the parents she'd only just found who already wanted to replace her, for Henry and for the downright hopelessness of it all. She didn't even know if Henry was still alive and yet here she was, risking so many people's lives to get back the son she'd given away all those years ago.

To her left, a branch cracked and she spun around to see Mary Margaret tentatively making her way into the clearing towards her.  
'Hey.'  
Emma remained silent, wondering which part of _alone_ this woman hadn't understood.  
'Emma, are you alright?' Mary Margaret tried again.  
'Yep,' she replied until another rogue tear found its way out of her eye and slid down her face. She sighed deeply, realising her stone exterior was cracking. 'No.'  
'Look, I know those things in the cave must have been hard for you to hear,' began the brunette.  
'No kidding,' Emma snapped.  
'But they don't change what we came here to do. What we _will_ do.'  
'And after that? What then? Our family gets split apart again? You and David stay here and start a new family like you always wanted, and I take my Henry back home where we belong?'  
Her tears were flowing freely once more as she looked sadly into Mary Margaret's eyes, relieved to notice that she wasn't the only one crying. A single tear had escaped and was making its way down her mother's smooth features.  
'Emma, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you more than my heart is capable of, but I can't leave your father here alone. I won't.'  
'But you're happy to leave me alone, is that it?'  
'You won't be alone. You'll have Henry and Neal and everyone back in Storybrooke,' encouraged Mary Margaret, 'and we will find a way back to you, I promise. We will always find you.'  
'No you won't. You'll make your life here and have another baby and start all over again like you wanted. You won't need me anymore.'  
'Is that what you think? You think I want another baby to replace you? You think that after everything we've been through, I'd throw it all away for a baby?'  
'Well you sent me away once before...' Before the words had even left her lips she felt as though she'd stuck her sword into her mother's heart but barely a second later her attack was returned.  
'You did the _same_ thing!' Mary Margaret replied, her voice loud and unforgiving. 'You gave Henry up and you had a _choice_!'  
The words stung Emma like poison, firstly because of the way they were delivered but then because she knew them to be true. She didn't give Henry away to save a Kingdom. She gave him away because she was heartbroken and selfish.

Her mother's voice had lowered when she said, 'We're not as different as you keep wanting to believe, Emma.'  
There was a silence as they pondered this last statement until Emma felt it was time to ask the question she most wanted to know the answer to.  
'Why aren't I good enough?'  
'Hey, you _are _good enough,' choked Mary Margaret, 'I didn't mean for you to think that. You are the most important person in the world to your father and me. I don't want you to think...'  
'But that's what you said! You said I'm not what you wanted!'  
Again there was a pause as the words sunk in. It was the first time Mary Margaret understood that her choice of words in the cave had hurt her daughter even more than she imagined.  
'I meant that this isn't the life I wanted for you, for us. I didn't want us to miss everything and I didn't want you to miss out on what you should have had. I want to be a mother. I've tried to be one but you won't let me in. I don't blame you,' she added quickly as she saw Emma's eyebrows raise, ready to defend herself. 'How could I blame you? You didn't know anything about us until you came to Storybrooke. I was hoping it would get easier over time but now I'm not sure it will.'  
'I hope it will,' the blonde admitted, 'I'm trying. I'm just not sure how to break down these walls. I don't know how to be a daughter.'  
'And I don't know how to be a mother. That's why I want to have another go. Well, I wanted another go.'  
Emma looked quizzical. 'Wanted?'  
'I wanted to do it with you Emma. I wanted you to be there. We were supposed to be a family. Now your father can't leave and I won't have another baby if we're not all together. I don't want to replace you. I want to be with you.'  
The women looked at each other, their eyes damp but fixed as if they were seeing each other properly for the first time. Mary Margaret tentatively moved towards her daughter, frightened she would shut down once more. She didn't, and she let her mother's arms envelop her completely.  
'I love you,' Mary Margaret whispered as she rested her chin on Emma's shoulder.  
The warmth of the arms was so comforting that Emma felt herself almost melting into them. She had dreamt many times, as a child, of being held in her mother's arms and feeling safe.  
'I love you too,' she responded and the women stood holding each other until the rest of the rescue party returned to announce they had found Tinkerbell's home.


End file.
